Don’t Freak Out if You’re Single

Set the scene: It’s prom night and you don’t have a date. All your other friends have a date and are taking 400 pictures and pinning on boutonnieres and corsages. You’re standing outside of the group, questioning your life and every decision you’ve made. Should I have asked Joe Schmo out that time after Spring Break? Should I have let him make that move when we went to see Safe Haven? Single life sucks! I’ll never get married. I won’t have a full life. And therefore I’ll die alone.

Calm down. That train of logic doesn’t even make sense. Don’t psych yourself over something that shouldn’t even matter that much. It’s ok to be single. Really, it is. In the fifties, society made it seem like everyone should be in a relationship. Specifically talking to women here, we are always depicted as being on the arm of man. Girls, we are not living in the past anymore and we are not the traditional Daisy Buchanan sitting in a room sighing and looking pretty for the sake of looking pretty. Sounds kind of boring, right?  Single life allows women to do extraordinary things for themselves.

Single life is exciting and intriguing. It’s a chance to find yourself and what you like. It should be enjoyed, not avoided! Think about the freedom that comes with it and the possibilities! Being single allows you to develop friendships and connect with new people. If you’re tied down to one person, it is expected in today’s society that you bring that person with you everywhere you go, like a dog following its owner.

There is virtually no privacy when you’re in a relationship. I know that when I was in a relationship, I would always be asked: What are you doing? When can we meet next? What are your deepest darkest secrets? Maybe you really like to share and don’t mind answering these questions. That’s cool, good for you. Have at it. But being in a relationship is not a requirement that you check off on the list of life. Being single lets you be yourself. Having your own individuality opens up your mind so you can express your originality and develop your own ideas. Close-mindedness happens when we are dependent solely on others and restrict our thoughts. When you’re single, you only have to think for, worry for, and be responsible for you.

It is confusing to me that single life is frowned upon by. In a study by done by Psychology Today, singles were seen as having low self-esteem, low self-satisfaction, less agreeable, and less confident. Being in relationship fuels our natural need to feel included and like we belong. It’s always awesome when we feel like we belong. In a way it gives us purpose, to know that someone is always there. However, here is the question. How do you show that you are an individual yet still are committed to someone? It’s a hard thing to do.

First we have to change these stereotypes of single life. Single ladies need to switch their outlook altogether and think, I can live my life how I want to live it. I don’t have to gussy myself up for anyone unless I want to. You can discover new things about you. You can find what makes you passionate. You can wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care.

Obviously being in a relationship is not all bad. The sweet nothings told to you, the flowers, physical contact with another person. But my point is, do not break your back to be involved with someone just because your friends are.